We lived in our last apartment for three years and every year we thought, “We should move. But if we don’t move, we should paint.” And then we’d do neither.

So, this place, we’re painting. A lot. And I’m glad we’re doing it. We need some color in our lives.

But, yes, blog-wise, this is the opposite of “traveling.”

Looking at paint colors.

I’m easily distracted and spend more time looking at the color names than the actual colors. “Glow.” “Lilting Laughter.” “Shire Green.”

Sarah: Are you taking pictures for your blog right now?

This color, “Deepest Aqua,” is the closest approximation I could find for the color of the ocean in Bermuda.

My "day job" for the past several years has been writing (and other things) for the trivia video game 'You Don't Know Jack.' And I was writing questions and jokes part-time while on the ship. I like my job. Before agreeing to the ship contract, I made sure I'd be able to come back afterwards.

We've released a couple different versions of the game over the last year or so (Xbox, iPhone, etc), but today we launched a big one... You Don't Know Jack for Facebook. Yeah, yeah, most Facebook games are dumb, but this one is awesome and I'm very proud of it. So go play it, jerks, and let me know which questions you think I wrote while staring out at the sea.

Go play it here!

After a difficult couple of days, we may have found a place.

Sarah is taking pictures for future reference. I suppose so am I.

Alex and Megan (and The Captain) have been gracious enough to let us stay at their place again, while we continue to look for a new apartment (a process that is becoming alarmingly protracted).

Me: What did we miss? What's new?
Megan: Nothing.

Already back at the iO Theater, hanging out backstage.

I preformed in my regular Saturday show, Whirled News Tonight, a show I'd missed very much.

And it was great to see old friends, although, oddly, as happy as I am to get away from the ship, and back to my old life, I almost immediately made a bee-line for my friends who have also done ships, and spent most of the night talking about ship-life with Lyons and Marla.

Chicago. Back in town looking for a new apartment.

Usually it wouldn't be that difficult but apparently there's some kind of "apartment drought" going on. One guy at an apartment finding service shared his theory that it's a "renters bubble." That "no one's buying, so everyone's renting. Six years in this business, I've never seen it this bad."

It doesn't help that we're looking on such short notice.

I posted this on Facebook a few weeks ago, beginning to count down to being done on the ship.

Whittington, who's done a few contracts himself, and would know, predicted we'd be out at sea again in two months, which, if I remember correctly was the amount of time between his first and second ship contract with his wife, Marla.

I had a wonderful time, but no, I do not see myself heading out again nearly that soon.

Cedar Point (America's Roller Coast).

Since we're in Ohio, we should ride some roller coasters.

I used my phone to take pictures of us on the way up the first hill of the Magnum XL 200. Just the first moments, and then I quickly tucked it away in my pocket well before getting to the first drop.

I did it again climbing up the first hill of the Mean Streak and suddenly our car came to a halt. Some kids in the seats in front of us said, "They do that if you have a camera. It happened to our friend."

Sure enough, some poor teen Cedar Point employee walked up the wooden stairs next to the coaster, stopped at our car and said, "Could I have your camera, sir?"

I got it back when the ride was over. He was fairly cool about it, in a disaffected teenager sort of way.

My biggest regret is that when he was standing next to us, way up there above the amusement park, asking for my phone, I didn't ask him if he would take a picture of us.

Visiting my Grandpa Paul (my father's father).

We swapped sea stories. Of course, mine were just about dinking around on a cruise ship while his were about serving during World War II.

He also talked about meeting my Grandmother right before heading off to war.

Grandpa: I actually had two girlfriends at the time. One back home. But the one back home didn't write me as much as Dottie did. I don't think she wrote me at all. And Dottie sent me a lock of her hair. So, when the war was over I didn't go straight home. I went to see Dottie.

Afterwards, my parents remarked that they'd never seen Grandpa Paul talk so much about the war.

Dad: My whole life I haven't heard some of those stories.

In Ohio for a few days to get our car back and to visit family.

One of our first stops: visiting my Grandma Anne (my mother's mother) in the Nursing Home.

Me: I'm back.
Mom: Remember, Arnie and Sarah were traveling around on a cruise chip for the last few months.
Me: We went to Mexico... Bermuda...
Grandma: Oh. And all this time I've been cooped up here.

I considered explaining that her room is twice as big as the cabin we were living in, but decided against it.

Flying away from New York.

Heading home...ish. Or, heading home slowly.

Sarah noticed that we could just barely see our old cruise ship docked way down below. Or, we think it was ours.

Last night at sea. The roughest seas we've had. Very windy. Lots of rocking. And rain.

I had a few drinks at the empty bar at the top of the ship and watched the wind shake everything.

Me: You've been doing this a while... what's the worst weather you've seen at sea?
Bartender: This.

At night you can't see the ocean, so it feels more like being on a space ship (or some wholey unrealistic 70s TV sci-fi space ship) floating through space.

Everything is so hermetically sealed, the wild listing of the ship is a welcome change, but instead of imagining us sinking, I imagined the ship simply breaking apart and everything floating off into space.

Again, I had a few drinks.

Last day in Bermuda.

We raced around on our scooters trying to fill every last moment. Then we climbed to the top of this lighthouse and looked out over the entire island, seeing it from end to end, trying to put it all into some kind of perspective.

Then I raced down the stairs to the ground floor to get this picture of Sarah and Lynn still clinging to the rail at the top.

Helipad party. Our last crew party of the contract.

Most of our conversations now involve people asking us when we're coming back.

There are a number of these "moon gates" all over Bermuda. I think they were borrowed from Japanese culture around the late 19th century (according to Wikipedia, anyway).

The sign next to this one by the ship reads, "Couples who kiss under our moongates... will, according to local legend, be assured a long and happy life together. Walk through one of our lovely limestone archways, make a wish and look forward to a joyful and prosperous future."

Sometime during the last week someone has scratched next to this, "DULL SHIT." Maybe they meant to add another loop to make it, "BULL SHIT," but it really does just look like, "DULL SHIT," left by some vandal bored out of their mind by local traditions.

A 'Game of Thrones' viewing party in our cabin somehow devolved into Mitchell and Lynn putting on all of Sarah's jewelry.

The latest rumor swirling around the ship is that last week a passenger tried to steal an expensive giraffe statue from the art sellers on the ship (this is not that statue, this is a camel, but I believe it's by the same artist).

So, a passenger grabbed a statue and hid it in their cabin, but there are, you know, hundreds of security cameras all over the ship so they were caught. Security confronted them and said either they could work something out with the auctioneer (i.e. buy the statue they stole) or be arrested when they leave the ship on Sunday. They called the bluff and said, "We'll go to jail."

This week, when I asked about whatever happened to that crazy giraffe stealing woman, I got the anti-climactic answer that they just let her go. Supposedly she was the fourth highest spender on the ship (something it hadn't occurred to me that they'd track, but of course they do) and so she walked away (although the giraffe remained on-board).

Leaving New York for the last time (via cruise ship anyway). Hanging out by the ja-crew-zis, at the very front of the ship, I have a better view than anybody, even those passengers/suckers up top.

Second to last Murder Mystery of contract. The countdown has officially begun.

We've been notified that we can do whatever we want with the costumes when we're done, keep them, throw them away, whatever. I think most of us will throw them away.

When my parents were on the ship and saw the Murder Mystery, my mother was especially taken with the sweater I wear. Maybe this is the look she'd chose for me. She's texted since, more than once, asking me to send her a picture of me in the outfit.

Rain.

I’ve noticed the ship will subtly play different thematic playlists in the buffet, like, for instance, when it rains, you’re definitely going to hear, “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone.”

I’ve mentioned I’m a little beached out, but we scooted to a beach today. The “most beautiful beach in the world” is supposedly on the island. We didn’t go to that one, but this one was plenty beautiful. The water was too cold to do much swimming, but was an amazing sort of aquamarine, the kind of blue water I thought you only saw in watercolor paintings, but apparently those pictures are actually trying to depict something that really occurs in nature after all.

One of the stand-up comedians who came on the ship for a few nights during the long reposition cruise said to me, “I’m jealous that you’re about to see Bermuda for the first time. Seeing the island by scooter is one of my favorite things in the world.”

So we’re renting scooters this week and despite the fact that I’m normally too big of a wimp for this sort of thing, it’s incredible. The island itself is beautiful to zip around in but after all this time it’s also nice to have some sense of autonomy.

Sarah: I sort of feel like I’m moving through a dream.

There are all these sort of extra shows on the ship that we sometimes do to help out, promote our other shows or just out of boredom or to get a free drink. One I do most weeks is "Dancing with the Stars" where I interview the eliminated contestants. The whole show is then aired the rest of the week in passenger and crew cabins.

That channel doesn't work in our cabin so I never get a chance to watch it, but it does play on the TVs on the treadmills in the gym. It's tempting, but I do not watch myself while working out. I have, however, on occasion been running next to someone who's watching it and I do sneak some peeks.

You occasionally see service dogs at sea, not so much seeing eye dogs as the kind that maybe detect seizures or lick people's faces awake (so I hear).

I've never really thought about where they relieved themselves, until I saw this sawdust crate in one of the crew hallways.

New York again.

Times Square, where everyone is either taking a picture, or having their picture taken. Crossing the square, it's difficult to avoid accidentally walking into someone else's photo-op.

There’s a lot of drinking on the ship… and I do like to drink. But, honestly, I find myself drinking less than I normally would. When every day is Saturday is starts to seem less pressing.

That said, yes, there have been two or three nights of excess. In this picture RC is holding a road map of the many unfortunate drink choices we made in one evening. It’s worth noting that this picture is not staged. This is what he was holding.

Sitting in one of the gazebos in the port, I saw a newly married couple walk up from one of the other cruise ships. Everyone around, strangers, clapped and cheered. And then they let them cut to the front of the line to get onto the ferry heading for the other side of the island.

Have I mentioned that ship captains can't perform weddings? Something I learned. Well, they can if they get specially certified, just like anyone could, but just being a captain doesn't inherently make you able to marry people, like I'd always thought.

One great thing about being in Bermuda for three days is that we can be off the ship at night. In theory, after we dock on Wednesday, we don’t have to be back on the ship until 4pm on Friday.

It seems like a small thing but we haven’t been on land during the night in months.

Bermuda. Our new main destination. Three days a week. It’ll be nice to be in one place for a while.

It is, however, significantly more expensive than our previous ports. Everything costs at least twice as much here. And there’s no free wifi anywhere. It is a place to spend money.

While in line to buy a book of ferry tickets (that you need to get around the island) I overheard the woman behind the counter explain to a customer, “The island is shaped like a fishing hook, and where we are here, by the cruise ships, is…,” and she chuckled almost involuntarily, “…where the bait would go.”

Room service. And free at that (although it’s good to tip). Another little perk that we get (and officers get) that we take for granted, while most of the crew can’t have it.

Sarah: People go to each other’s rooms to get room service all the time. Those who have it invite over those who don’t.

I’ve heard it’s even a bit of a seduction technique, frequently employed in crew bar at closing time. “Come back to my cabin, I can order room service.”